A Monkey’s Tale

Thanks to the reader who sent in this passage with accompanying cartoon originally posted on Godlike Productions, a humorous analogical commentary on Stanford and her following:


Imagine if you will, a bunch of monkeys trying to survive on a tropical island. Most of the monkeys live in trees and they spend much of their day foraging for bananas. But then there are a few monkeys who decide to live on the beach because they believe that someday, an endless supply of bananas will be come from the ocean. According to monkey legend…

The God of all monkeys, Ooh-ah, knows of the suffering endured by good monkeys. Ooh-ah in his boundless love, will save them. A fresh, endless supply of bananas shall appear, floating, by the sea, washed upon the beach, on the 3rd day following the midnight dance of red beach crabs, in the dead calm of seas resting after its forces have lashed the shores for a full month. This fruit will only bear to those monkeys who wait in readiness by the beach. The time is near. Ooh-ah, Ooh-ah, Ooh-ah.”

Their beach is inhospitable. It is washed away intermittently, sandy, salty, intense sunlight, they battle the elements, survive on fewer bananas… but they stay. Their conviction is steadfast, that endless bananas await them.

Biologically, in the game of survival and evolution, which monkeys will prosper, and survive long and well enough to pass their genes onto the next generation? What will become of the hopeful monkeys on the beach?”


Amitakh Stanford as the monkey god Ooh-ah, and her devout following beneath.
Amitakh Stanford as the monkey god Ooh-ah, and her devout following beneath.

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